At some point in our lives, we must deal with the well-known impostor syndrome. We live in a world in which we are constantly confronted with our reflection with a critical and, in many cases, hostile gaze.
We compare ourselves to each other, and we have rigid and inflexible expectations of what we should become, which mostly, what they do is prevent us from seeing our potential and allowing ourselves to have the space we need to improve and evolve.
Having critical judgment is essential in life. Only in this way can we perceive the things that we can improve or discern between excellent and terrible, but once we lose balance and begin to believe that all things we do are wrong or not good enough.
We don’t take credit or allow ourselves to be recognized for our small successes daily. We have a problem.
This problem goes beyond the impostor syndrome, which causes us not to recognize our achievements and abilities. Still, we face overwhelming insecurity that causes us to neglect ourselves and sabotage ourselves from success.
Now, what can we do to defeat this very harmful pair?
Experts have shared many tips and advice that come in handy for anyone who is struggling with these insecurities and wants to get rid of them to start improving. Let’s see.
Many of us tend to think that being hard on ourselves or having a sharp self-criticism will help us have a better job performance, when in reality, having a bad relationship with ourselves will make it difficult for us since mental health must be our main ally on the road to success, both personally and professionally.
Being too self-critical and judging yourself too harshly can influence your mood. It can also cause your motivation and commitment to your work to drop, immediately affecting your work’s quality and your productivity level.
Maintaining a more positive, solution-focused approach is difficult, but finding this balance will help you become a much more skilled and healthier professional.
Expert Melody Wilding, in her article “Stop Being So Hard on Yourself,” suggests the following ideas for balancing your perspective on your job performance:
Avoid Generalizing
This means that, although we all enjoy licking our wounds a little after losing a battle (which is healthy), it is also not okay to fall into victimization since this will only stagnate us and prevent us from moving on to something better.
Just because one little thing, or two or three, in your path turned out differently than you expected doesn’t mean you’ll never succeed. If you don’t win, you learn. And learning never hurts.
It would be best to resist that desire to focus only on negative things to unconsciously prevent further disappointment or loss and shift your focus to what you have learned from it and how it has favored you to continue growing.
Look At The Bright Side
Do not confuse this with having a toxic positivity approach to all situations in your life. It’s okay to feel every one of your feelings, and it’s what you’re supposed to do. That’s what they’re there for. But as the Buddha said, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
You can fail in one of the goals you had set for yourself and cry for the dream that did not come true, but after a period of mourning, your responsibility to yourself is to get up and move on. How can you achieve this?
Think about everything this experience taught you and shift your focus to its positive aspects. For example, a better job for you is on the way, or starting to study this career years later than expected allows you to do it with greater maturity and will. And so on.
Also, if you haven’t failed yet but are questioning yourself before carrying out the project, think about all the good that could come out of trying before the bad that could happen. Who knows if this is your millionaire idea? You can’t let the opportunity go to waste.
Feel Your Feelings
As I said before, it is healthy and necessary to experience all the emotions that come to us since this will allow us to move forward with a better disposition for success.
In many Western societies, open displays of emotionality are considered a sign of weakness and vulnerability, so they are frowned upon, especially in work environments. However, this could not be more wrong.
For this reason, Wilding suggests establishing a specific period in which you allow yourself to drain what you feel: shame, fear, anxiety (which usually take 30 to 50 minutes to dissipate), and after this, make the conscious decision to leave this behind. , focus on the positive, and continue to strive for your success.
This is the first step to being kinder to yourself and improving your relationship with your being. Becoming more united with yourself will make it easier to grow and evolve in every way, including work-related matters. You will see that if you bet in your favor and not against you, you have much more chance of winning!
See more articles by Andrea Corona.
