Have you ever felt like you cleaned up your schedule, made time for yourself, left the room to rest, and before you even noticed, you were drowning with responsibilities and things to do? It feels inevitable, like we are doomed to repeat that cycle of finding balance, going back to hustling, and starting again.
Maybe we are bound to it, but why is that? Do we like the hustle and its benefits? Or are we just used to it? Are we forcing ourselves to have more time off, or do we have to?
We fall back into old habits, whether functional or not. We create spaces that suddenly seem full again and wonder how that happened. Sometimes, it reminds me of washing all the dishes and finding them piled up again a couple of days later and that confusing sensation of when this happened. How is this full again if I feel like I just washed them all? It seems like a mystery to me.
But in reality, it is a matter of habits. If you are not used to washing the dishes right after cooking or eating, they will eventually pile up. The same happens if you don’t review your priorities, especially if you were born and raised in a hustling culture.
Everybody wants to have peace of mind and create balance. Hustling might have economic benefits, but sometimes, they are not proportionate to the effort and energy they take from us. Those extra hours, the work you bring home, and the work project you check on the weekends might be a lot.
An imbalanced life and work can make it challenging not to burn out. We know how demanding it is to try and do everything, but you don’t have to. Finding and re-finding balance is a cycle that we know is a critical part of our life and requires that we go through that same cycle as often as we see fit. And just like the water cycle, there are some steps to follow before it rains…
Pause
There is no time to find balance in a rapid everyday routine. Working long hours and having too much on your plate does not allow you to reflect. Therefore, there is no place for decision-making and modifying behaviors.
Then again, it might not be easy, but it is the first step towards creating a change and living a more balanced life—the one you want to have and that will allow you to keep working in a long-lasting, feasible manner.
Sometimes, people need an external force to help them stop. Like Newton’s first law of inertia, a little help is required to change the state. To some people, that realization that leads to pausing to reflect could be the birth of a child or seeing how fast they grow while you work extra hours at the office.
To others, it could be a demand of their body, like getting sick or somatizing the stress and no rest regime you are in. It is widespread to need a reminder to make the space to be able to slow down so you can evaluate your situation, but it is not mandatory. If you are slightly uncomfortable with how you live and work, don’t be afraid to pause to give it a look.
But what should you do once you pull the break and pause? Should you think about your present? Are you supposed to reflect on how many rest hours you can squeeze in on weekends? Because let’s be honest. It is not uniquely about awareness of the need to create some balance.
Coming from a very agitated schedule and a demanding job where every day there seems to be a fire to put out, working extra hours seems like a logical and vital decision. So, when you stop, the first thing to do is to separate yourself from your situation.
It could work doing some thought experiment where you look at your circumstances as if they were from a dear friend. If someone you cared a lot about told you that they work the way you do it, would you find it normal or healthy?
Taking a pause is the best opportunity to zoom back and allow yourself to see things without the veil of “that’s what I am used to doing, that’s what needs to be done” that we often get when the problem concerns us. Let yourself disagree with what they think they must do and connect with what you feel is more sustainable.
Check
You might be aware you are overworking, but have you explored how you feel about it? Once upon a time, a dear friend shared his experience with me, saying that when he was younger and full of energy, people used to tell him that he should slow down because he was active all day and did not have much time to lay back and chill.
But he was happy with that. He was working on personal and work projects that fuelled him with more energy and satisfaction. He was okay with that busy lifestyle; he rested enough and never got sick for it. But that fast pace suited him until it didn’t anymore, and he moved to change it just then.
Looking within and sorting out how you are feeling is not often easy. You may feel frustrated, tired, or even miss out on life’s essential things. Being aware of how a situation makes you think can be the key to starting to plan a solution. Work might be stressful some days, but overall, you should get positive things out of it.
A sense of professional fulfillment, satisfaction, and development. If not, then changes need to be made. Walking for too long over an unbalanced path can lead to feeling bitter or resentful of your work, which is supposed to make you feel some joy. You invest much time and energy, which should bring happiness and comfort.
Reprioritize
Let’s put things into perspective. After considering your thoughts and feelings, it is time to evaluate what matters most. Whether you need immediate change or it can wait for a little, you need to weigh the gains and losses implied in every decision.
For example, Frank was a manager who worked way too much. He had a daughter; she learned to walk and said her first words without him witnessing it. As his daughter started accomplishing these steps in her growth, he asked himself, “Am I willing to sacrifice watching her grow? Is it essential to work that many hours a day? How can I fix that?“
Those are the questions everyone needs to ask. It doesn’t matter if you are not a parent or if you don’t have an active reminder of how short our lives are, like having a family member at the hospital.
What causes you some trouble or discomfort needs to be reviewed. Do you need to do it? Are you willing to carry with its consequences? Could you handle the discomfort for much longer? Restlessness has many costs to your general health.
A burned-out mind is not as creative, a restless body is not as effective, and a tired worker is not as efficient. Reprioritizing also means simplifying to work smarter rather than harder. Creating the space to recharge will improve your resilience and overall performance. It is not only for you that you need to have balance; your company will also be grateful for its results.
Evaluate Your Options
Sure, now you know what you want. But outside that idyllic image of a world entirely of balance, have you wondered what are your current options? Maybe you need the money from those extra hours, which is okay. Reviewing your options within your realm of possibilities is critical to creating a feasible action plan.
Every reality is unique, and so is everyone’s range of possibilities. Trying to follow a formula to find balance or make your life look like the one on the societal picture of balance is a futile decision. Trying to make your life fit the mold will not create the same outcome as the picture.
You are very much alive. You have your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your wants and needs. Therefore, when evaluating what is best for you, you need to consider those.
Sometimes, the best option for you could be to change jobs to another position requiring less time. Maybe you can switch from working from the office to working from home. Or perhaps you could start setting some boundaries and not staying late or answering work emails outside your work schedule, depending on your way of working, how many hours, and so on, which is the solution you might need.
Only you can know what the right fit is. Think about the costs and benefits of each scenario. For example, how much time with my family will I gain by working from home? Or maybe, how can changing jobs affect my finances? Can I make some personal adjustments to recharge more often? Is my solution sustainable over time? It doesn’t have to be a fixed solution; whatever you find helpful might take a little time to stick.
Act-On Change
Once we have done all the processes and evaluations, the time to decide and follow through has arrived. Action plans are not always radical changes where you turn your life upside-down. You can make little changes that have significant impacts on your life. But they need to be planned out. It is time to communicate if you have decided on a substantial change that requires a shift in what others expect you to do.
Whether you speak to your boss to change positions or shift to working from home, if you decide to take a more automated approach, you need to be very aware not to fall back into the old habit of overworking and start setting boundaries, even for yourself.
No matter the choice you make, you will need to review it later. Adjustments are necessary to keep the world spinning. It is not easy to make a choice; neither is it to put it into action. Making a change requires practice and time. It is a process, so don’t kill yourself if you don’t get the hang of it at first.
It might take a while, a few cycles, and many adjustments to create a perfect work-life balance for you and your reality. So don’t lose hope, and be patient. Keep on working on it, and you will make it happen.
Finding balance and creating balance—we all wish those were one-time things. Once you feel satisfied with how you are handling work and life, that’s it—you are done. But it is more complex than that. Life is dynamic, and so is work. Everything moves and changes, so this one is just a cycle you will have to go through every once in a while.
Whether to change something or check, balance is like walking a tightrope, a process that preserves it at every step. So, what are you waiting for to recover your balance?
See more articles by Laura Navarro.
