Building a strong relationship with your new boss is not an easy task. You need a foundation, something that you can rely on. This important foundation is something that we have to start to build from the very beginning: The first impression.
Whenever we do something for the first time, could be starting a new job, meeting someone new, a job interview, or even going to a new place, it’s important to start off on the right foot. People draw impressions pretty quickly so you have to make sure those first impressions are positive. That way, your new boss and teammates can have a good image of you. Something that will not only be useful for your career, but also for your interpersonal relationships.
In this article, I’m going to give you some tips, recommendations, and questions you should ask your boss so you can start to build a strong relationship with them.
We have another article solely dedicated to making good first impressions at work. Make sure to read Making a Good First Impression at Your New Job so you can impress your new boss and coworkers.
How to build a Strong Relationship with your New Boss
To create a strong relationship with your new boss you have to strive to become a person that they can rely on. That if they are looking for another point of view, an opinion, or a piece of advice, they look to you. Believe it or not, being this person is something that you can achieve, and with these tips, you’ll certainly make it.
This is how you can start to build a strong relationship with your new boss from the very first day:
1. Look for a connection:
Look for something that you and your boss have in common, maybe a favorite sports team, shared hobbies, anything that can work as a good ice breaker for you two to get to know each other. You can try following your boss on LinkedIn or any social media to get to know him a bit more and interact over there.
Do not worry if you don’t have a deep connection with your boss in the first few days or even few weeks. Strong relationships take time, and it might take a little time to get there. But still, you should keep an eye out for anything you share in common as you start working together.
Once you find something that you have in common, you’ll notice how slowly you’ll start to connect more and more with your boss!
2. See from their perspective:
It’s important to understand that your boss is also under a lot of pressure and stress. I understand that there are lots of bad bosses out there, and there’s already a generalization created about bad bosses. But that doesn’t mean that your boss is a bad one, maybe they’re just having a tough day.
At the end of the day, we are all humans. Sometimes showing empathy and offering your support to the people who need it goes a long way, and that person could be your boss. If you want to be of help to someone, try to understand the nature of the situations they’re going through, and what they find challenging, and help them with that.
Try to see more from your boss’ perspective when you think about why they do things, show empathy, and offer help and advice when you think is right.
3. Go at the right pace:
Your boss is not a dummy, they know when someone is excessively boasting or kissing them up pretty quickly. So, you shouldn’t try to curry a favor with your boss immediately. Instead, take things slowly and remain in a neutral position.
The reality is that there are so many people who are eager to make a good impression on their new boss that it actually can get exhausting and overwhelming. The best thing will always be to show some hustle and be proactive, but without kissing up or going overboard.
Find your middle point, and when you least notice it, your boss will see you as an employee whom they can put their trust in.
4. Get a sense of their communication style:
The sooner you get a sense of they prefer to communicate, the better.
Emails, calls, texts, and/or in-person discussions. There are many ways you can communicate so someone when you have to give an update or communicate an issue. Find out which communication styles your boss prefers depending on the situation, and adjust yourself accordingly.
Knowing this information will help you avoid misunderstandings that could complicate your work or put you in a difficult situation. If your boss doesn’t give you or your team this information firsthand, go ahead and ask for it. We’ll go into detail about this later in the article.
5. Bring solutions and results:
If it’s good for the company it should also be good for you, and your position inside it. Assisting your boss and being a problem solver will show that you’re a team player, and showing them that you are eager to work and be of help will bring you many benefits along the way.
When there’s a problem, always try to look for opportunities to bring possible solutions to the table, and don’t add more problems. And if you feel capable, you can even offer to take something off their plate, which will give you the chance to prove your worth. Those are the interactions that leave a lasting impression on someone: when you can help them shape their strategy and goals.
Remember that building a strong relationship with your boss doesn’t mean that they are going to be your new best friend. It means that both of you know that you have someone you can count on at work.
Relationships go both ways, so don’t feel discouraged if you think that your boss doesn’t like you. Not liking someone is normal, you are not going to be liked by everyone you meet. On the other hand, if you follow this advice and show your professionalism your chances of being promoted will improve.
Don’t forget that when you are new to an organization, one of your first focuses should be to adapt to the new place. You already know how to do your work, but you don’t know how your organization works and maybe the processes that your previous job followed are now totally different. While it does take some time to get used to new jobs, there are some questions that you should ask in order to better understand your new job and your new boss.
Questions you should ask your new boss
1. How do you prefer to communicate?
As I said before, this is one of the first questions you should ask your boss. With jobs now being mostly hybrid or remote we, as workers, need to be aware of the communication channels our company uses and how to use them effectively when submitting reports, updates, or simply asking questions.
Don’t be afraid to ask this question if your new boss doesn’t give the answer to you firsthand. This is extremely important when starting a new job in order to avoid any misunderstandings down the road. It may happen that your boss doesn’t have an immediate answer to that question, but it just means that they’ll think about it a give you a specific answer later.
Asking these types of questions will make you look like someone proactive that is attentive to detail, helping you to achieve that good first impression you’re looking for.
2. What’s the best way to ask for your feedback?
If you are someone that wants to get better and better at what they do, you’ll need constant feedback and support. Try to establish a relationship with your boss where you can get regular feedback on how you’re doing.
Could be weekly chats, emails, or a quick call. This will help you regulate and calibrate your efforts to improve your performance and also allow you to have a constant way of communication with your manager or boss, which is important when trying to establish a relationship.
3. What can I do to support my team?
Don’t be afraid to ask even the most obvious questions. This is a question that will help you to clarify your role, align with your boss on expectations, and strategically prioritize tasks and efforts.
Most recruiters or managers often fail to clearly and explicitly articulate what their top priority is, how they see team members fitting in, and what they most need from them. Understanding this quickly will help you deliver where it matters most.
4. What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Asking this question when looking for advice will invite your boss to empathize with you, and also show that you respect their experience and highly appreciate their advice. This can create a good connection between the two of you and further deepen your understanding of one another.
5. What could I be doing better?
Many managers and bosses find it hard to provide employees with negative evaluations, so wording your feedback request in this way can help them focus on your improvement areas.
This question may encourage your boss to provide you with much-needed guidance for closing the gap between how you are performing and what your boss expects from you. It also signals that you are eager to understand how you can get better, even if you are doing well.
Remember that every person is unique, including you and your boss. This means that some of these questions might not be applicable depending on the situation and your growing relationship. But when you manage to ask them, you’ll be able to understand your boss better, something that can help you to accelerate your career success.
There is a time and a place for everything so be on the look for the right opportunity to follow this advice. Good luck!
