Some say that mind and body are one; others think they are separate forces that constantly interact. But, what we can all agree on, is that they are somehow related. The brain, the mind, and the body are all parts of the complex machinery that is the human being.
We have come a long way to be like this; to become this rational, civilized, critical-thinking, language-using, emotion-expressing, environment-bending being. And we are still improving.
But, we are still part of the animal kingdom, therefore we keep carrying these instincts. In some scenarios, they are survival tools. Like when babies cry to let their mothers know that they need to be fed, or the impulse to cover themselves when we perceive that something is being thrown at us to prevent getting gravely injured.
But nowadays, some of those most primitive instincts have almost no use in this human-made world. Because, being real, our modern threats do not look very much like the ones our ancestors faced when they developed those survival instincts.
And, even though our world looks different, we still display the same physiological process when faced with our modern threats. There is one in particular called the acute stress response that is best known as the fight or flight response. Let’s dive a little into how this works.
The fight-or-flight response
First of all, it is important to acknowledge that these responses happen automatically and involuntarily. Although we don’t have to run like a deer from a wolf or fight for our lives; our bodies react like they do have to.
When we find a situation as threatening or intimidating, whether it is a conflict, a person, or a scenario — regardless if the danger is real or just a perception — our amygdala sounds an alarm that we should prepare for an emergency response, so the sympathetic nervous system starts working, and lots of hormones and chemicals are released into our bodies, such as adrenalin and cortisol.
This inner process is putting our bodies in the emergency protocol, which means, that it is redirecting resources to where they are needed the most to give us our best survival chances. This reflects on an increased heart rate so that we have more oxygen, and sweaty palms because there’s being a redirection of blood to arms and legs, so you can run faster or fight harder, and so on.
But hey, the body is not the only one that’s affected, the mind is too. In front of these chemical changes, the mind and brain go into emergency mode too, meaning that complex decision-making and memory might shut down and our attention could get shorter. That explains why we don’t remember much of highly stressful events.
And knowing this response can be counterproductive during a confrontation or non-life-threatening situations, you might be wondering… What can we do about this?
What we can do
As it was said before, this process is unconscious and automatic. So, there’s probably nothing we can do to prevent it from starting, but we can surely do some things to stop it from taking over. A very effective counteract to this response is self-regulation.
By doing so, we can build a bridge in a conflict where we only saw walls before. Taking action to calm our brains, minds, and bodies is what opens the road to change, collaboration, and opportunity. We snap out of the fight-or-flight tunnel vision and keep our full set of resources intact to deal with what’s in front of us.
But how can we do this?
To make a change in anything, we need to be able to identify what we want to change. Making Awareness the first step.
In this part, we know that there’s a physiological response occurring inside our bodies, so we try to stay as present as we can and be mindful of how it feels, we try to stay in tune with ourselves and observe what is happening. We identify the trigger and how our bodies react to it. What goes through your mind? Is your heart racing? Do you feel a knot in your stomach? How do your hands feel? We stay, we listen, we observe. That’s the way to start.
Now that we know the patterns, we try to break them, which leads us to our second step: Refocusing.
Let’s try and stop the train of thought, and break a fueling loop. We remember, hey, this is a natural reaction, slow down, we are safe. We could also think about times we successfully calmed ourselves down or navigated through similar circumstances. But it is important to let go of the negative thoughts, even momentarily, to be able to stop the cycle and start regulating.
With that done, we take control of our breath, slowing it down and taking our heart rate with us. We make sure our breaths are even and smooth… focusing on making the breathing intervals equal by counting or maintaining inner rhythm is very effective in stressful situations.
By making them longer we force the breathing to deepen and our bodies to oxygenate properly like in a regular situation, tricking it into a regular calmer state. Some bodily sensations are not so easy to change, and we have no other choice but to let them happen, be a kind witness of our process, and let them be with consciousness.
So, after we have managed to calm down and somehow reestablished equilibrium in our systems, we can start building bridges.
Fight-or-flight is not the only response
Having re-found homeostasis, we can review the situation with a clear head and a full vision and finally start finding solutions. We’ve taken the pressure off, and now, we have our full set of tools ready to be used.
We can make better decisions driven by conflict analysis rather than fear or stress-clouded judgment. Getting our minds and hearts to the right place before acting towards the conflict or situation before us is the smartest choice. We know that collaboration gets us further, and we don’t want to burn bridges without being sure that it was a well-thought-out decision.
It is not easy to go against a built-in preservation system installed in the deepens of our brains, so we might not get it every time. But with practice, self-regulating our response can also become automatic.
Although it is hard, we believe that taking action to be aware of it and its consequences is totally worth it. Think about the great deal you’d be doing to reduce your anxiety levels and to be quicker and more assertive during stressful situations. There’s no loss here… so, what are you waiting to try it?
