Most of the time, no one wants to be the bearer of bad news. Even if the message we are bearing is only feedback that will make a positive change in the short or long run, we tend to be a little uncomfortable even thinking about being in that position.
There are two prevalent approaches when we find ourselves in this challenging situation. The first one, being too bold or harsh, is not as effective as one would want since the receiver tends to get defensive, and the actual message gets lost in the insensitive way it was sent.
The second most common approach is usually quite the opposite; we try very hard not to hurt the receiver’s feelings, so we might be too condescending or give them a feedback “sandwich,” one of those where you place the criticism between two compliments.
But sadly, this is often very ineffective and tends to send mixed signals to the employee, wondering whether you are satisfied with their work. So, to avoid those extremes and to be effective with your feedback, we have some tips for you:
Set The Ambiance
Think about it: You will have someone come into your office so you can tell them something they most likely do not want to hear. Being told that you did something wrong is difficult for most people to process. For some, it could be scary, and it could be upsetting or frustrating for others.
But what is your goal in giving this feedback? Hopefully, your answer will somehow relate to making this person improve and develop, so keep that in mind.
You can start by making the situation less awkward or uncomfortable. Create a safe environment where it is okay to accept that one has done something wrong or that there is room for improvement. You can even add a personal experience so the employee will know that it is expected to make mistakes and that the best of it is what you do with them.
Making someone feel valid and that they can trust you will not undermine the message that you want to give them. On the other hand, this will make them lose their guard or resistance, so your message can truly get through, and they can learn something from it.
Be Thoughtful, Open, And Specific
We have established that it is not easy to hear, but giving this type of feedback is not easy either. First, you do not want to soften your input too much. You want it to be just right… tough enough that it sinks and kind enough that the receiver feels treated as the valuable person they are.
So, thoughtful feedback delivery is crucial for your team’s success and relationships with the team members. People value honesty, not cruelty.
Be open, and avoid giving feedback if you feel stressed or angry. People tend to match your energy. We are very empathic beings, and it’s natural to get a little affected by other people’s moods, even unconsciously.
Be specific. People can’t read minds. If you tell them that you didn’t like what they did, they won’t know what exactly you didn’t want or what part of it wasn’t okay. They might even think they did nothing wrong, and that’s just an opinion. Try to be as objective as possible.
Please describe the situation, the behavior that wasn’t great, and its impact. Doing so will make the feedback clear and easy to understand without hurting the person.
Emphasize The Solution
The goal of giving harsh feedback is to get a positive change in something, whether that is someone’s attitude or performance. So, after making clear the mistake, focus on how to solve it.
Tell your employees the behavior you would like them to replace the one not working that much. Don’t make them guess what you think—that tends to go wrong—or expect them to know what they should do. It might be redundant, but they didn’t do it, so telling them seems like a proper action to take.
Sometimes, we don’t have a solution, which is also okay. Just try to figure it out with your team, asking them what they think would be best, what would work for them, and so on. It is all about focusing everyone on solving the problem rather than the conflict itself.
Being a manager or a supervisor can be tricky sometimes, but always having your team’s best interest at heart and being invested in their growth pays off. Giving feedback is complex, but having a team that trusts you makes it more accessible, so work on those relationships and be the kind of manager you would have liked to have—honest, firm, and kind.
We hope that you find this helpful content, we sure have… so, why don’t you try this?
See more articles by Laura Navarro.
